another mad tea party

Back in the world of blogging. To tell you the truth, this blog was supposed to be kept hidden from a particular set of eyes. About 3 weeks ago, that intent of mine was blasted out of the water. I lost the feel for this blog for the past few weeks. Although someone made a point that it was available online and can be viewed. I was hoping I could have kept my identity secret at least. In any case, what's done is done. No point in trying to sulk over it.

Moving on, I've been feeling pretty crappy and negativity is at an all time high. I've been trying to get my mind away from it all by playing Civilization III. Yes, it eats my time and keeps me fairly pre-occupied for several hours but ultimately does nothing to better the situation. My slump remains.

On a positive note, I was able to reap the fruit of my training not to fall asleep. After nearly as week's worth of training, I managed to stay up at a drinking party. You see, everyone more or less bet against me that I would be the first to fall asleep. I stand victorious... a little dizzy but nonetheless victorious.

Today, I was able to get a hands-on play of Soul Calibur 4 on the PS3. My reaction? I want a PS3 NAO. I simply lurve it. For those who don't know, Soul Calibur is a fighting game series which focuses on sword/weapon based combat. The 4th game in the series was released just recently for the Playstation 3 and XBOX360. The bonus characters for each console are from Star Wars. Darth Vader for the PS3 and Yoda for the XBOX360. Both consoles however, have Darth Vader's "secret apprentice" who's to debut in a game of his own called "Star Wars: The Force Unleashed". He's called "The Apprentice". How creative. Thank you Lucas.

Anyway, I was able to play and managed to hold my own with my staple character Siegfried Schtauffen. Anyway, it looked awesome since I was playing with a HDTV which maximizes the full potential of the Playstation 3. It looked wicked good although I feel that the FMVs weren't as good as I thought they would be. There were a bunch of new features to the game which made it a pretty good package. Even something for the pervert in every male gamer; the ability to knock the garments of your opponent off.

In terms of gameplay, it more or less retained the system minus a few adjustments which I fail to notice. Some movesets were adjusted, characters balanced, and other changes which I wasn't fully able to explore since the PS3 isn't mine and I had limited time. But the game is awesome nonetheless, it improved it and didn't tack on too many changes to make it unrecognizable. It's what I liked about Soul Calibur and they polished it to a really fine shine.

Admit it. You've been bitter about a thing or two at least once in your life. Now, if you've ever been hurt because of romance, even better. Try to recall the resentment you felt and perhaps just a little bit of desperation. If you're someone in-love, step out. You won't enjoy yourself here anyway. My blog; my rules. Now, if you've gotten bitter enough, excellent. We're on the same page now. It's annoying when people splurge their icky romances all over the place. Yes, I can understand the need to express it, but please, do keep it under control.

There is only so much love to go around without making other feel bad about their own sad existences. You might go around thinking, if they're happy, there's no need to bring them down, right? Sure. But isn't it also inconsiderate for other people to gush out excessive romances knowing that not everyone shares their sentiments?

Apparently, some people are oblivious to such things. It gets annoying sometimes. I try to tolerate it but I do make sure that if it borders towards the unnecessarily excessive, I'll speak up. Yes, I'm bitter. If you have a problem, you can kiss my brown ass. That's it. My rant for the day. I've been amused by Plurk so I haven't been able to update.

*bow*

Sweet goodness, my head hurts. I can't focus and can't work properly. I'm doubtful it's a cold since my nose isn't runny or clogged or anything like that. Taking a shower didn't help much either. Meh, I hope it isn't some weird disease or anything. Anyway, Plurk is actually cute. Hahaha, I'm kinda amused so I'll recommend it after all. If you're interested, then click this link. Spread teh good word. Holy cow, it suddenly started raining a lot harder. I hear of no typhoon but it's raining a lot harder than I think it should.

Anyway, Project Sky is progressing story-wise. Must work on the characters some more. I feel like they're a bit bland; especially Sky Beltrand, the main character. I think I ought to give him a bit more "character".

Yes, I have a Plurk now. I don't know what the hell the hype is about but I'll have to see for myself. Oh, damn, my head hurts. It's been like this since yesterday. The upper-left part of my head hurts like a bitch and it's starting to annoy me. Gee whiz.



Stupid Plurk. The "widget" thing won't show up right. That's one point down. Not a good start.

I am being driven mad by the sheer perky and catchy tune of "Ike Ike" by a group called Hinoi Team. I bop my head with the beat and am growing fonder of their cute music. It's so upbeat and fills me with the happies. Yes, I feel like dancing but I'm exerting a strong effort to refrain from doing so. I still don't know where my sudden fancy for this music came from but I suspect it stems from Vindicta. Perhaps the influence of Team Loli is growing stronger. If it is... then God help us all. Oh, here's the song.

It's five-thirty in the morning. I should be asleep. I should be somewhere in Lala Land making a trip to dream mountain. Instead, I'm awake and freezing my balls off this ridiculously cold morning. I hate mornings now. I can hardly imagine how I managed to maintain getting only a few hours of sleep a day. Holy shit. I just realized that I'm getting too comfy with a good number of hours of sleep a day. There was a time I could go on and on and on with just a good 3~4 hours of sleep a day and I wouldn't bitch about it. Why now?

Am I really getting lazier? Are any of my rants about sleep really valid? Or am I becoming a wimpy shadow of my former self? Goddamnit. The call center life totally messed up my sleeping patterns. Another reason why I hate mornings. I tend to get too introspective for my own good. It's raining outside. Not helping at all. The fucking morning was cold enough as it is and the rain makes sure that my balls contract to a point where it becomes a perfect sphere.

Alright, I gotta get off my ass. It's time to leave. I have to emcee today. I don't mind, really. But it's too damn early. Maybe a quick trip to Lala Land isn't such a bad idea.

I felt like writing a poem because of my friend's multiply. I dropped by and read something about Elizabethan Sonnets. So I looked outside and saw my subject. I typed away and ten minutes later, I have this.... Enjoy~

A Rainy Day

A sullen gray and mournful sky
Encased by my window's frame
Another storm's come passing by
But all else remains the same

I don my coat and heavy boots
To defer the clouds harsh tears
But in a world of absolutes
It's not enough, Mother swears

My gloves, my hat and underpants
She picks out some more, but wait!
It's not complete without more rants
Till I make it to the gate

I brace myself for heavy rain
The sun shines, I scream in vain

I've never been a ladies man. I'm not smooth as a baby's bottom nor as hot as an oven at 300 degrees waiting for some fine cookies. Never was, probably never will be. But I can't really say I'm a total dorkwad either. I can communicate my thoughts well and I'm fairly talkative even on my first encounter. But yesterday, I had a pretty awkward moment that hasn't happened in a very, very long time. I was doing a favor for a friend by lending myself to their seminar as an emcee. Although I haven't done anything like that since my gradeschool days, I figured it would be fun.

That's the exact reason I was at her school (which happens to be the rival school of my alma mater for collegiate basketball) in the middle of the game between them and my school. Minus the slight paranoia of being in a rival school, it was pretty cool. There, I met the other groupmates of my friend as well as some of their over-zealous professors. Now, one of them was my designated co-emcee. Although she was a bit iffy at first since I didn't even pause to think about speaking in Filipino, she managed it and she was quick to take more initiative in talking to me.

Questions came in succession which caught me off guard since I got used to being the talkative one asking questions. For the first time in a long time, I found myself shrinking up and becoming shy. Strangely enough, this didn't happen with her other groupmates. Just with my co-emcee. It's different than what I've grown comfortable with. And on my way home, she got up to "beso" (cheek-to-cheek) but hesitated at the last moment to confirm that I wasn't accustomed to it. A question to which I nodded blankly. So she didn't and switched to a handshake.

After taking a couple of paces out and I was beyond anyone's view, I smacked my forehead with a big fat "DO'E!"

Nothing sets me in a good mood like a nice bowl of noodles. I'm sure everyone has their own form of comfort food whenever they feel like throwing everything out the damn window. It's wondrous, isn't it? How a bowl of ice cream, a bar of chocolate, popcorn, pasta or some snacks affect our mood and settle us down. Especially at times when we close ourselves to what people say and/or do. Just me and my little bowl of happiness watching the world roll on by. Then when I'm done, I feel like I'm ready to take on whatever the world has to dish out again.

*slurp*

I feel satisfied. A bowl of noodles fixed me up.

No. Get that dirty image of Paris Hilton and her friend whats-her-face out of your head. This has nothing to do with their sad excuse for a reality show.

Last night, I was chatting again and got inspired to make yet another blog post. It was a conversation that jumped from one topic to another. The kind of which I haven't had in a while. Anyway, I remembered one of the games that ate countless hours of my life: Harvest Moon : Back to Nature(BTN) for the Playstation. For the non-familiar, Harvest Moon - BTN is basically a "different kind of RPG" (as tagged on its cover) that puts you in the role of a young boy on the road to being a great farmer.

I got to watch The Dark Knight last week. But instead of raving endlessly about an awesome movie that probably doesn't need another blogger raving about it, I'll just rave/rant about the other interesting things that happened that day. So what else was there? Wendy's. To tell you the truth, I'm fairly broke. I resigned from my previous job and I'm still anticipating my backpay. At the moment, I'm working on something and I hope to receive part of my compensation soon enough.

So why Wendy's? Here's why.



Since some of the guys were on budgets nearly as tight as mine (We were anticipating someone to *ahem* cover some expenses), they went ahead to buy some food while waiting for that last guy to arrive. Anyway, look at Exhibit A. Do you see that sad excuse for french fries?

That's regular. Also, take note of the plastic cup that's even smaller than the fries pouch. That's the regular take-out Frosty. That plastic cup slightly larger than the fries pouch is the regular soda.

Come on! Regular?! I've come to believe that Wendy's Philippines should rename its sizes to be accurate. My suggestions? Teeny-tiny and Biggie. We were laughing about the sizes while we waited inside Wendy's. Does anyone still remember that old Wendy's commercial about "Where's the beef?". Yes, the beef is pretty big on your Wendy's burger. Then take a look at your fries and drink. If you didn't get yours Biggie, you'll know how they put all that beef in.

Where's the beef? Right here at Wendy's. Now... where are my fries and drink?

again, i find myself delaying my work. but this time it's not in vain because i'm carefully plotting out the details of how i'll go around the database's structure. my last mistake was because i focused entirely on the structure and i hadn't noticed how it would be affected by the data input. my plan was flawed. so i have to work on redesigning that. thankfully, this project can actually be done in a matter of hours once the plans have been set properly. i can't let myself get caught unprepared. must finish... soon.

good morning.

mata ashita wa chigau kaze   fuite kuru yo
ryoute wo hirogeta mune ni kanjiru mama
nani ga osoikakatte mo   semetate'te mo
watashi-tachi wa daijoubu

Tomorrow a different wind will blow
And we'll feel it in our hearts with hands wide open
Though things beat down on us, though they may torture us
We'll be all right

- chorus of "Daijoubu", sung by Aki Maeda

the lyrics above are from the opening theme song of the anime "Boys Be..." and needless to say, i loved the series. to give a brief summary, it's a 13-episode anime that more or less chronicles the romances of numerous characters with lead characters kyoichi kanzaki and chiharu nitta as the focus. it's not totally linear in story, its more of a compilation of short romance stories. i chanced upon a friend of mine who had a stat message that wrote "watashi tachi wa daijoubu". i didn't pass up the opportunity to ask if she meant the lyrics of daijoubu.

to my surprise, she did! and that's how i got around to remembering such a heart-warming and "feel good song", as she put it. memories came flooding back but in a good way. i suddenly remembered how much i loved watching the show when it first aired. suddenly, i felt really good. it felt like i'd taken a step back to high school and the idea of romance was so thrilling. for an instant, i relived my days as a sappy hopeless romantic. for a moment, i forgot the feeling of heart break. for a second, i felt like i could "innocently love" again.

i had forgotten that song. to think, i love that song. sometimes, "growing up" can make us forget the good traits that have been with is all along. in an attempt to cope with a world that can eat us up, we drop luggage as we run for it; not realizing we drop some really important things.

looks like i found something i dropped.

i gotta go look for more.

truth be told, i've lost the feel for blogging. actually, i've lost much feeling for writing. but i refuse to let that get me down. i can fail. i have failed. time and time again. countless times, i've tried to revive whatever blog i can muster. other attempts more successful than others. but in the end, i still get the same result: failure. for all i know, this attempt will meet the same fate. but i can't say that. i can't allow myself to give up before i've even made another attempt.

so i'll blog here for a while. with a few knowing my presence. few knowing my true face.

GODDAMNIT! i can't work properly! i easily get side-tracked and i just realized that my structure is flawed! i have to work on that damn database structure again. argh! i can't believe i overlooked it. this is just great. i'm running out of time. this is work i'm supposed to be paid for. as much as i'd hate to give half-baked works, this might end up that way. HALF-BAKED. i hate it. so much. gawd, why do i let myself come to this? why?

someone shoot me. please. i'm being too irresponsible to be allowed to exist. </emo>

(breathes deep)

okay, i'm done ranting. that felt good. time to work.

(sip coffee)